Ed Trimmer
My name is Ed Trimmer. I’m 39 years old, Father of 6 kids, 5 girls and 1 boy and a husband to a wonderful wife.
My life controlling issue is different than most of my brothers. I thought it was just anger and rage, but it goes so much deeper. I had gotten fired from another job where I thought I was the boss. I was not. I’ve had many jobs and I’ve been fired many times because I wanted to do things my way.
One morning in between jobs my wife woke me up. I was depressed from yet failing again. Our oldest daughter was cutting herself at school. We arrived to find her in the office with cuts on her arms. We took her to the ER and they called the clinic that took her for about a week and a half. When she got home we took her to the psychiatrist. She asked my wife and I to come in for a visit. She asked what I thought was wrong with my daughter, I said, “ a boy at school rejected her and she didn’t have many friends”. The psychiatrist informed me that I was the problem and that I yelled at and put my children down too much. I got mad and she asked me to leave her office.
About a week later my wife and children did not come home one night and a friend informed me that they had moved into a shelter for the emotionally abused. My wife proceeded to get a 30 day order of protection. I was to move out and make no attempt to see my wife and children. My life became a downward spiral emotionally and I could not keep a job. As a result of my court appearance concerning the protection order, the order was revised to one year.
My Pastor was very supportive during this time and he suggested that Teen Challenge may be able to help me. I got to Teen Challenge and still thought I could do things my own way and I received the discipline to show for my rebelliousness. I believe the Holy Spirit began to show me the monster I had become. I had been hiding from my personal pain and anger. When I began to yield to God, he started to change me and I started to hate what I had become all the more. Discipline is a result of God’s love and a motive for change. I received the “Rock” discipline and that was the eye opener for me. I started to understand that I needed to grow up and that I had a purpose for being here at Teen Challenge.
I am a new creature in Christ, the old has passed away and the new has come. God disciplines those He loves and I am A SON! That’s important because I never had a Father. He died before I was born. I had to learn to forgive my Mother for drinking and being physically abusive and my Father for leaving me. I’m learning that I’ve never let go of my anger and that the boy in me has grown up an angry man. I’ve been rude and inconsiderate to my family and I’ve never been satisfied with anything they’ve ever done.
God has shown me that He is in control, not ED. I had to learn James 1:19-20 Slow to speak, quick to listen, slow to anger. For a man’s anger does not make him right with God. Or with his wife and family or at his job. God has forgiven me. My wife and I are reconciling and my kids have forgiven me. God’s hand is at work in my life like never before because I’ve given Him my personal right and I’m being submissive and obedient to his will. Building a relationship with my Father in heaven, listening to the Holy Spirit, and realizing that my life has been bought with a price has freed me from myself. The following scriptures have helped to heal my relationships: Eph. 5:25, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her and Eph. 6:4 , Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Thank You